The Key To All Success – Pain

There is one key to all of life’s success – Pain.

I was recently reminded of this with the break-up of another girl. Even though I wanted to break up, even though I knew it would hurt, after she left I really felt pain. My mind wandered back to the first girl that absolutely devastated me. My ex wife left me while I was a millionaire to bang a broke ass bartender. On top of this, while she was sleeping in the house I paid for, the courts made me pay her just over $6,000 per month, I was restricted in seeing my son – all while she moved a man in with her and paid for him.

That is pain.

That time in my life was so painful, I damn near killed myself. But it was that pain that motivated me to become what I am. I spent years learning how to be a success… with women, money, bodybuilding, shooting, riding, and everything else I do.

Pain IS Necessary

Pain is necessary. It is the beginning of anything great… You were brought into this world with pain, and you will likely leave it with pain too.

Very few people are the best without effort. In bodybuilding, the burn of each rep, the micro-tears in your muscles, the lactic acid during each rep, the soreness of growing new muscle fibers and nerve endings all create pain. But you have to go through it. You have to overcome that pain to better your body.

And if you are going to keep growing, every workout is going to be painful. Every. Single. One.

In business, I see it much the same. The risk and doubt as you put your money, name and reputation on the line. Juggling cost with revenue, paying vendors, payroll and dealing with employees can all be painful. You will make mistakes, or spend thousands of frustrating hours working out a process or delivery system to make your business work.

If you are like most business men, you will fail a few times before you figure it out. I went thru an $8 million dollar bankruptcy when I was 32. Talk about pain… my ego was crushed. But by learning from my mistakes, changing my approach, and learning from my pain I have built several successful divisions and companies.

I have had more than one accident that almost killed me. From being hit by a semi (in a small 2 seater convertible) and being put in a coma, to wrecking a motorcycle and tearing hip muscles, to be stabbed, to tearing ligaments in my knee, and most recently, crushing 2 vertebrae in my neck that almost killed me, left me temporarily paralyzed, and gave me permanent nerve damage.

Recovering from every accident has been very painful. Hell, the ex-wife told me she could never go through one of my serious accidents again. She said she had never seen someone in so much pain.

Relationships and women are no different.

For most men, it causes us great discomfort to approach a very attractive girl. I felt a lot of pain as I learned to approach, charm, sexually trigger and bed the women I wanted. I was rejected 1000’s of times. I had girls flake, blow me off, lie, cheat, sleep with me while married, break into my house, slap or punch me, destroy my property, try to destroy my reputation and a whole list of other painful events.

Everything you are ever going to do that is GREAT is going to cause you pain.

Pain is necessary for all growth. You must be comfortable with pain. Embrace it. Don’t shy away, but look at as a level you must break thru to be a success.

Approach one more girl.

Do one more rep.

Work a little longer on your business.

Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Make friends with it. Have the unshakeable understanding that pain is always there before the achievement of great goals. The more you can look pain in the eyes and be able to say, “I know you. You don’t scare me. Bring it on.” the more you are likely to embrace the pain that is always present as you achieve or learn another lesson.

You will start to like it. No, not in a sadistic kind of way, but in the way you feel just before you accomplish something you have longed for. If you can have this mindset you will naturally radiate a power that is attractive to other people. It is embracing this pain that will give you the correct mental focus to do whatever needs to be done.

After this last relationship ended, I almost felt sorry for myself. But I deserve better. Then that pain I felt simply became a motivator. Hitting the gym harder, amplifying my flirting with new girls, and working even more on business.

The more uncomfortable situations you are in, the more you just keep going, the more confidence you will have. You will believe in yourself. You will know you can just get the job done.

Then, when pain shows up like it will through your entire life, you will just smile and say, “I know you pain, and you don’t scare me. I own your ass, now get in here and help me get this done!”

Can’t wait to see what great things happen this year.

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AlphaX is a C level executive and unconventional philanderer who specializes in self development, human behavior, and seduction. He has been a writer for,, as well as having been interviewed for Double Your Dating Interview Series by David DeAngelo, on the Advanced Dating Techniques DVD as well as the Cliff’s List DVD series.

He currently offers training and practical advice for attracting women at Politically Incorrect Publications.

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