When I first started learning the psychology behind attraction, I never really thought a man could date multiple women without keeping it a secret from the women. I truly believed you had to “sneak” or lie about the other women. What I learned was that lying or sneaking requires a tremendous amount of energy, and can really add some stress to your life making the multiple dating partners not near as much fun as should be.
If you get caught, especially by a girl that likes you, then all hell is going to break loose. It can damage her, which in turn can mean drama (or violence) for you. More than one girl has vandalized my car or broken into my house.
From these experiences, I learned that dating multiple women at the same time is fairly easy. It requires you have the right attitude, be selectively honest (which we will talk about) and have the right approach. Once you have these down, dating multiple women can be incredibly fun, and you will soon learn the old Bible proverb is true…. “For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.” – Matthew 13:12
You see, women are drawn to a man that is preselected. You know, the guy that already has girls that like him? The more girls that like him, the more new girls will also like him. Isn’t life great!
Components Of Dating Multiple Women
1) Your Attitude
First and foremost is your attitude. It has to be natural to you, like it is no big deal and just something you do. You just have to know & believe this is what you want. If you have an Alpha attitude and believe you are the prize, you will have no problems being congruent. Your natural actions will match your words and you will never give off that “sneaky”, lying or player vibe.
It just is what it is.
2) Selective Honesty
Unless I am only dating bisexual girls (which I learned a little latter in my revelations) then I didn’t give details to girls about the other girls.
When you are first meeting and dating girls, you never tell them you want an exclusive relationship. If the topic comes up, you simply say something like, “Someday I hope to find the perfect girl, but for now, I am just dating and deciding what I want in my life”.
Never promise “Love” or “Relationship” to get her to date or sleep with you. This will backfire by either pushing her away, or creating a lot of drama when she finds out you are dating other women. It also makes you look weaker than the man that already is dating lots of women and doesn’t want to change.
3) Encourage the Girls to Date Other Men
This is a fun one. In our wussyfied society, weaker men tend to play the “I want to be with only you” or the “you had better not see anyone else” card WAY too soon. It removes all of the fun drama, challenge and thrill of the chase that girls love in seducing and winning a man. The man that is too easy is rejected fast.
So when I am first meeting girls I have told them, “I am not really looking for a relationship. I am more of the guy you have fun with till Mr. Right comes along.”
The key to making this work is the timing. You shouldn’t say this till after you have firmly created sexual attraction in her. Once you recognize that she is attracted to you and on the path to sleeping with you, you tell her this.
This does 2 major things:
- It creates tension by “taking away” your easy availability. It communicates you have options and are not needy, which increases her attraction even more.
- It lays the ground work for you sleeping with her and other girls. Girls say they want honesty, so give it to them. But only in subtle doses.
4) Never See Her More Than 2-3 Times A Week
Even if you tell her you don’t want a relationship “code for I am dating other girls”, if you spend all of your time with her you are nonverbally communicating you want “just” her. No matter what you say, she will begin to see you as her boyfriend, which means she will emotionally invest in you and start considering you hers. If another girl enters the picture now, you will be seen as a cheater and labeled as one by her and her friends.
Avoid this by actually dating other women, pursuing your dreams, goals and hobbies, and by being otherwise unavailable.
5) Do Not “Romantically” Date Her
This is another nonverbal trigger that will make her think you are in a relationship with her.
You should never put together some romantic evening for a girl you are just casually dating or sleeping with. No over the top displays of flowers, champagne, fancy dinners, expensive venues, trips or anything that romantic couples do. If you are going to date multiple women and be loved for it, you have to be the fun & challenging guy.
Your get togethers should be nothing more than watching a movie at your house and having a few drinks before sex, or just grabbing a quick happy hour. You must keep building sexual tension, teasing her, and being a challenge, but you don’t want to try to win her romantic feelings.
Honestly, if you build attraction and become her fuck-buddy, she will likely develop feelings for you anyway. No need to try to romantically impress her.
6) Be Willing To Let Her Walk Away
One of the reasons this method works so good if that it triggers sexual attraction in a female on a primal level. At some point though, she is going to meet another man that she is attracted to and want to start dating just him. Very few girls can play the double sex life off for long. That doesn’t mean they can’t live with one man while sleeping with another – that happens all the time. But very few have the emotional ability to sleep with several men repeatedly over a long period of time.
She might also use the “I am going to date other men…” to try to get you to stop dating other women. In this type of relationship, it is your call. You are in control and can do whatever you want. I do caution you though, if you do not want to be in an exclusive relationship and what to keep dating multiple women, you have to let her walk away. And do so in an encouraging way. Wish her luck, and sincerely mean it.
Many girls that have left to date a new guy have circled back into my rotation after a few months of boredom with him.
7) Date Bisexual Women
For me, I only date bisexual women, and if I am interested in them, this topic comes up fairly early in the conversation. I use it as a qualifier, but it also signals my high standards (hence high sexual market value).
One thing to keep in mind, even with a bisexual girlfriend or wife, you still have to be able to walk away. Ask Johnny Depp if you don’t believe me.
Follow the link if you would like to know more about my Alpha Dating Strategies.
