This is a fascinating topic, as it flies face first into the politically correct “what men should do” to get a girl.
Many times I have put this to the test. Every single time it has lowered the attraction in the girl. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
Back when I began my journey into understanding sexual triggers and the female mind, I accidentally made this mistake a lot. I was under the false impression that showing this trait displayed openness and a willingness to communicate. I was, however, very wrong.
This trait cost me my ex-wife.
This trait has cost me numerous girlfriends.
This trait has even cost me millions of dollars.
Any guesses what it is?
Yes, weakness is a trait that will absolutely destroy sexual attraction. Even if she can’t pinpoint exactly what is lowering her attraction, she will definitely feel less attraction which will frustrate her.
And I don’t just mean weakness as in “I can’t lift as much weight as the big guy in the gym”, I mean sexual marketplace value.
When we discuss sexual marketplace value, we are talking about the perceived value of a man and the perceived value of a woman. For all the discussions of equality, sexual marketplace value takes no prisoners and is not dependent on facts. It is mostly dependent on how you feel about yourself and what the girl “feels” about you. For the sake of dating and relationships, all that feminism talk about women are equals with men is bullshit. Most women date ABOVE themselves…. That is they date men they see as having MORE sexual market value than they feel they have.
From the stand point of equality, we typically have laws to ensure equality of opportunity. Men and women that have the same education, skill level and work the same hours generally make about the same. Actually, the girl will make a hair more. But equality of opportunity does not ensure equality of outcome.
Women do not date their equals or below themselves. They date higher status men. Let me fine tune that, they date men that make them FEEL sexual attraction by displaying traits of a higher status man.
This is perceived value that the woman assigns. It is within her control to determine what she will feel about any action the man takes. Of course, her biology and desire to mate with the highest status male typically overrides her logic… hence there are certain sexual triggers that make her feel sexual attraction.
There are also sexual triggers that lower her attraction. The greatest of which is “weakness”.
In the roles of seduction and mating, men tend to display weak traits to try to grab the girl’s attention. I think a lot of this is culturally based, but it is exactly the wrong thing to do.
So what do I mean by men displaying weak traits?
Keep in mind, everything is based on how the woman feels and sees you. It is all how she perceives you.
If you just met a girl and you are obviously of higher value than her, buying her a drink will be seen as being kind and will increase your perceived sexual value.
However, if you are not already seen by her as having higher sexual market value, then buying her a drink will be seen as weak… and lower attraction.
Everything nice a man does to get the attention of a woman that does not already see him as a higher sexual market value man looks weak and lowers her attraction. Everything.
Think of it this way. If you meet a girl you think is “cute” and you start talking to her, the more and harder she pursues you the lower your interest in her. This is very true for beautiful women, and since the average hot girl has dozens of interactions of men complimenting her, giving her things, and basically being very nice to try to get her attention, anything you remotely do like them will make her feel less attraction for you.
So if you get her number and text her too fast or too much you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If you immediately start telling her how beautiful she is without either some ballsy shock value or a Neg (backhanded compliment) you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If you are available for last minute dinner or drink plans on the weekend you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If you will drop your current plans with friends to be with her you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If you text her, don’t hear back from her and text again within a week you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If she text you, and you text her, and you get into a flirty little text game that ends with her not responding you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If you offer to take her on an expensive date or trip before you have had sex multiple times you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
If you do anything for her that you would not do for the fat 70 year old woman at the store, you are subcommunicating weakness – and that lowers her attraction.
All of these little acts of kindness subcommunicate you think she is of higher value and worth than you are.
However, if you meet her and forget her name 3 times in the first conversation you are subcommunicating higher mate value – and that increases her attraction.
If she asks you to do something you wouldn’t do for the 70 year old fat woman at the store and you say “no” you are subcommunicating higher mate value – and that increases her attraction.
If she ask you to buy her a drink and you say, “no, but you can buy me one” you are subcommunicating higher mate value – and that increases her attraction.
If she text you at 7 PM on Friday night to see if you are free and you don’t respond till Monday you are subcommunicating higher mate value – and that increases her attraction.
If she text you and you respond with “Great hearing from you, grab a bottle of wine and come over” without all the little flirty text you are subcommunicating higher mate value – and that increases her attraction.
Strength & Higher Mate Value
Everything you do must come from a place of strength. It is not meant to hurt her, or be mean. But being “nice” lowers her attraction. She wants to be attracted to you. She wants to have to fight for you and win you. Girls are chased by lower value men, but they chase higher value men. Everything you do that can be seen as you:
1) Have a busy social and business life…
2) Have many women you could date…
3) & Are not sure she is a girl you want to invest in…
All of these make you look stronger and more valuable. She feels this strength by you not being worried about displeasing her WITHOUT trying to be mean, put her down or intentional manipulate her.
While it may seem counterintuitive, strength is a strong sexual trigger as it demonstrates potential traits that could be passed to the offspring of a union with such a man.
Such men have facial features that display the ‘Dark Triad’ of personality traits – Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy – said research for the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour.
And women who want children show a clear preference for these features because, like natural selection among animals, it indicates strong genes and good health, both mental and physical.
Fiction is littered with handsome ‘bad boys’ from Shakespeare’s Romeo, the spoilt heir in a warring family to James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause or even John Travolta’s Danny Zuko in Grease.
Women attracted to dark and brooding men because they want to find a mate
As for me, I prefer to give women what they respond to… not what they say they want.
― Charles Bukowski, Portions from a Wine-Stained Notebook: