Women

Complete List of Pick Up Lines

Dirty Pick Up Lines

  • I heard you are looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is U.
  • Did you get those pants at 50% off? Cause they are 100% off at my place!
  • Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night
  • I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.
  • Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.
  • Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
  • I’m asian so I’ll eat your cat
  • Is there a cellphone in your backpocket? Cause that ass is calling me!
  • You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.
  • Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!
  • There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus
  • I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!
  • I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!
  • I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest
  • Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.
  • You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.
  • I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!
  • I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.
  • Smile, if you want to have sex with me.
  • I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
  • You know what I like in a girl? [What?] My dick.
  • I`m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.
  • If I were a cat i’d spend all 9 lives with you.
  • Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.
  • Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!
  • Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
  • Call me Chris Brown, cause I’d hit that! [Look at her ass]
  • You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
  • You have eyes like spanners. When I look in to them, my nuts tighten.
  • You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.
  • You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
  • You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
  • You look familiar, have we had sex before?
  • You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.
  • You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
  • You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.
  • You Say: I’m jealous of your dress. She says “Why?” You say: Because it’s touching your body, and I’m not.
  • You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
  • You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
  • You’d mind if I fantasize about you?
  • You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
  • You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  • Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
  • You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
  • You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
  • You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  • You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.
  • Wow! Are those real?
  • What is long and hard, and right behind you?
  • What time do you get off? Can I watch?
  • What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  • What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
  • Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
  • Will you marry me for just one night?
  • We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
  • What do I have to do to be your booty call?
  • Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
  • Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.
  • Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, “do you want to taste my drink?”
  • Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
  • We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
  • Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  • Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
  • Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
  • Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  • Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
  • The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
  • The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
  • The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
  • That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
  • That’s a nice shirt, can I take you out of it?
  • That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!
  • Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  • Sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better?
  • Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
  • So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
  • So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
  • Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.
  • Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
  • Sex is a killer … want to die happy?.
  • Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let’s begin.
  • Show me your pussy!
  • Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
  • People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
  • My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.
  • Nice beach balls, can I play?
  • Nice fucking weather. Want to?
  • Nice legs, lets eat out.
  • Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
  • Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
  • Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
  • Nice tits, mind if i feel them?
  • My name is Skittles… wanna taste my rainbow?
  • Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
  • Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
  • Male: Hey, I don’t feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
  • May i pleasure you with my tongue?



Previous ArticleNext Article

AlphaX is a C level executive and unconventional philanderer who specializes in self development, human behavior, and seduction. He has been a writer for Askmen.com, SoSauve.com, ReturnOfKings.com as well as having been interviewed for Double Your Dating Interview Series by David DeAngelo, on the Advanced Dating Techniques DVD as well as the Cliff’s List DVD series.

He currently offers training and practical advice for attracting women at Politically Incorrect Publications.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *