Dirty Pick Up Lines

• I heard you are looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is U.
• Did you get those pants at 50% off? Cause they are 100% off at my place!
• Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night
• I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.
• Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.
• Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
• I’m asian so I’ll eat your cat
• Is there a cellphone in your backpocket? Cause that ass is calling me!
• You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.
• Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!
• There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus
• I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!
• I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!
• I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest
• Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.
• You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.
• I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!
• I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.
• Smile, if you want to have sex with me.
• I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
• You know what I like in a girl? [What?] My dick.
• I`m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.
• If I were a cat i’d spend all 9 lives with you.
• Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.
• Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!
• Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
• Call me Chris Brown, cause I’d hit that! [Look at her ass]
• You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
• You have eyes like spanners. When I look in to them, my nuts tighten.
• You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.
• You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
• You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
• You look familiar, have we had sex before?
• You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.
• You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
• You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.
• You Say: I’m jealous of your dress. She says “Why?” You say: Because it’s touching your body, and I’m not.
• You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
• You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
• You’d mind if I fantasize about you?
• You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
• You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
• Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
• You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
• You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
• You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
• You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.
• Wow! Are those real?
• What is long and hard, and right behind you?
• What time do you get off? Can I watch?
• What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
• What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
• Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
• Will you marry me for just one night?
• We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
• What do I have to do to be your booty call?
• Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
• Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.
• Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, “do you want to taste my drink?”
• Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
• We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
• Wanna fuck like bunnies?
• Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
• Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
• Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
• Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
• The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
• The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
• The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
• That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
• That’s a nice shirt, can I take you out of it?
• That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!
• Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
• Sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better?
• Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
• So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
• So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
• That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
• Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.
• Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
• Sex is a killer … want to die happy?.
• Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let’s begin.
• Show me your pussy!
• Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
• People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
• My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.
• Nice beach balls, can I play?
• Nice fucking weather. Want to?
• Nice legs, lets eat out.
• Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
• Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
• Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
• Nice tits, mind if i feel them?
• My name is Skittles… wanna taste my rainbow?
• Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
• Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
• Male: Hey, I don’t feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
• May i pleasure you with my tongue?